what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party
we’ve all got that weird pretty big secret that we don’t really hide but like we don’t flaunt it like “My brother died of cancer” or “I’m gay” or “I tried to kill myself last year” or anything really and when you find out somebody’s big plot twist you know you’re in this friendship for the long run
i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”
*throws a piano down some stairs* welp the score for next week’s Hannibal is done
I’m on a quest to write the worst video game joke. Care to join me?
oh my GOD
Ferguson police are being sued for $40mil, +++ some of the officers are facing individual lawsuits for rights infringement. fucking break those cops.